While it’s not something you broadcast, the state of your marriage has become apparent to those around you, and it’s far from ideal. You find yourself oscillating between putting up a facade of a “Facebook-perfect” relationship and confiding in friends about your mounting frustrations. At times, you wonder if this is just the way marriages are meant to be or if perhaps your expectations were set too high.
Regardless, the signs are evident to outsiders that you’ve settled for a less than satisfying marriage. Here are ten poignant indicators that you may be settling in your relationship:
Inconsistent Behavior Around Others: You and your partner put on a different persona when in the company of others, concealing your unhappiness to maintain appearances. Deep down, both of you acknowledge that things are far from okay.
Crumbs of Affection: Your partner, or even you, dole out meager expressions of love, leaving one or both feeling unfulfilled. It’s as if one of you constantly has to plead for affection.
Frequent Cycles of Breakup and Makeup: Threats of divorce and subsequent reconciliations occur so frequently that it feels more dramatic than a soap opera.
Constant Comparison: You find yourself frequently comparing your marriage to others, questioning its normalcy. This habit, while destructive, may stem from your profound unhappiness and confusion.
Parallel Lives: You and your partner lead separate lives, rarely spending quality time together. Your existence seems to run on parallel tracks, signifying a deeply unsatisfying marriage.
Constant Waiting: Whether it’s waiting for your spouse to arrive physically or figuratively, your life seems to revolve around waiting on your partner, leaving you discontent.
Lack of Intimacy: The bedroom is devoid of intimacy, to the point where you feel intensely lonely and unwanted.
Wishing for Change: Instead of actively working to improve your marriage, you’ve resorted to wishing it were different. Deep down, you recognize your unhappiness but feel helpless to change it.
Happier Alone: You find solace and happiness in moments of solitude, even imagining a future without your spouse, all while keeping these thoughts to yourself.
Persistent Negative Mood: Your daily disposition is marked by sadness, depression, and distraction, which is evident to your friends and family. They detest seeing you in this state and wish you would break free from this cycle of settling.
Acknowledging these signs is the first step towards understanding the dissatisfaction within your marriage. It’s crucial to seek the support and guidance necessary to address these issues and determine whether your relationship can be mended or if it’s time to make a more profound change.